Life comes at you fast. One minute you’re receiving your first sports trophy, the next you’re graduating from college. You do everything you’re told to do, and although you’re not the best, you do a pretty decent job.
Job. There’s that word again. The thing that we’re supposed to get after learning who discovered what and when and how to play devil’s advocate. Well playing devil’s advocate no longer lands you a well-paying job, unless you’re studying to become a lawyer. But even then, having that job doesn’t guarantee you six figures and a happy life. If anything, playing devil’s advocate just makes you look like an asshole.
Alright, I swear I’m not usually this cynical – OK, maybe I am. But since I’ve turned 23 (just a short few months ago), I’ve slowly realized that the real world sucks.
Adulting is hard.
And no one gives a shit about my complaints. No one cares how hard of an adjustment it is. We all just deal with it.
That’s what I’m doing, dealing with it.
I’ve struggled to write anything in a really long time. For a couple of months I had the following excuses: I just moved home, I’m starting a new job, I sprained my wrist, I got hit by a bus (for Christ’s sake), etc. But now what? I sit here typing away complaining about my life that I planned to be so perfect because I did everything that I was told to do in order to “succeed.”
Boy, was I naive.
A few things I’ve learned since moving back home to Hawaii, starting a career, and moving in with my parents (plus boyfriend and 10-month old puppy):
- Living with your parents as an adult is a huge adjustment – there is a fine line between being friends with your parents and being their kid, and I often blur that line. What used to be fun and games and only being responsible for keeping your bedroom semi-presentable turned into repeated statements like, “Pick up after yourself,” “It’s common sense, just do it,” “How can you live like this?,” etc. #canteven. When you’re so used to having your own space and being able to do things in your own time, living by someone else’s rules (rules you thought you were over and done with), things get tricky. But hey, rent is “free.”
- Things don’t change much in your hometown – people you knew in high school are either 1) doing the same thing, 2) getting married and having babies, 3) also living with their parents because it’s the “norm” here. Lest not forget about the catty bitches that you’re forced to deal with on a daily basis.
- It doesn’t matter what college you went to – Forgive me for feeling more competent than most for going to a super rad college when all of my peers stuck around or went to state schools or took six years to complete their Bachelor’s. But look at me now, I’m working for them. Life is funny like that.
- Quarantine will still bite you in the ass, even if you do every little thing you were supposed to do to avoid it – OK, this one is personal. Chipper has a wart on his lip that’s “contagious” so he’s not allowed to hangout with his new best friend/Uncle Bear, and is confined to my bedroom.
- If there are corners to cut, people will cut them – They say “cheaters never win,” but who really follows every single “Step To Success?” Who did every reading assignment in college because they didn’t want to be lost in the following day’s lecture? Uh, this girl. I realized this cutting corners thing at work one day while I was driving out of the parking lot – instead of following the road, every single car takes the shorter route by cutting in between empty parking spaces. I never understood it, until I started doing it.
- Relationships are hard – If I’ve learned anything after being with Andrew for the past five years it’s that relationships take work. Lots and lots of work. We can work and fight and get along and things still aren’t the way they should be. We’re still not always happy with one another, and that’s the thing, people are never constantly happy with their partner. Life throws curveball after curveball, it’s just who you want to spend it with and compromise with every single day for the rest of your life. I am no where near the best girlfriend, but I’m trying to be and through all the stress we are currently going through (i.e., lack of money, apartment, job, etc.) we still have each other.
- No one cares about what you do or what you intend to do – I always catch myself thinking “Oh, I better post this so everyone can know I’m doing it so people will think I’m cool (for lack of a better word).” My realization: No one gives a fuck. Just do you. Keep your head down, goals in check, loved ones close and do you.
- “You have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce.”
- “You spend 8+ hours a day building someone else’s dream. Spend at least 4 hours a day building your own.”
- Don’t be so negative. I know most of/all of/this entire list is me complaining about how my life isn’t panning out the way I’ve always planned but it’s honestly teaching me a lot. Every morning, I try to wake up with a positive attitude and the goal to be better than I was yesterday. It’s a half full/half empty kind of thing – I mean sure I’m already 23 and still don’t really know what I’m doing with my life (I still hardly ever know what to do with my hands in pictures, so give me a break); but I’m also still young and people change their minds/careers/lives every single day so it’s OK. It’ll all fall into place. Somehow, someday, hopefully. Just keep truckin’.
*Disclaimer: I swear I’m not a total brat. This post was entirely meant to vent and for me to look back on when in need of inspiration to keep pushing or to simply laugh at myself and my first world problems. I do not mean to make my problems seem bigger than anyone else’s. Yes, I know I have it way better than a lot of people, and do not mean to look like a bitch for neglecting to write about bigger problems in the world. This is my blog so I shall post what I feel. I hope it gave some of you a good laugh or at least a little inspiration to follow your heart and trust your struggle.
*P.S., Grandpa Michael, I know you’re probably reading this because you’re always asking about when my next blog post will be … Sorry for all the swearing.